The latest human/alien-sex fetish (not mine). I take it tribal nose-rings are catching on in outer space.

You know, it was all fun and games when it was accidental, but now that Stargate Universe has made it a major plot device, you would think the users of the magic communication stones would adhere to some code of conduct, right? Oh, no, just fuck around in someone else's body, damn the consequences.

Let's assume that this mind-swap is purely voluntary, instantaneous, and not limited by distance. Thus, all users of body/mind swapping devices must adhere to these rules:

1. Do not have sex with ANYONE. -- So you're having a blast, cavorting around in my trimmer, better-looking body while I endure your chronic indigestion and lack of cardiovascular capacity? Don't fucking touch anyone, buddy! Yeah, maybe you can manage to pick up some sluts and STD's along the way, but would you want to return to a warm bathtub full of your own blood? What if the switch-back happens during sex, eh? Guess I'm suddenly cheating on my significant other against my will, then! What if someone sees it? What horrible complications might you cause?

   Even having sex with the right person for the body (spouse, lover, etc.) but inhabited by a different mind is just plain evil -- it's worse than stealing.

2. No life-threatening exercises! -- It's not your damn body! And if I'm injured, don't put your fingers in the wound, either. That's MY wound to play with! But there's other things you shouldn't be doing when there's a chance that we could unexpectedly switch back: driving, riding a bike, skydiving, SCUBA diving, operating heavy machinery, or flying aircraft (I do not know how to fly aircraft).

Can I get a different body? This one attracts too much attention.

3. No drinking alcohol, recreational drugs, or excessively unhealthy food. -- I can drink a good amount of beer and stay relatively sober, but that's because I know how fast my body can take it; you don't. You also don't know how pot will just make me sleepy and useless. It doesn't matter if you're a stoner in your body -- it won't work the same with me, and I work perfectly well without THC. You better not be a stoner, otherwise I'm not going to agree to this whole body-swap to begin with.
4. I'd rather switch places with a girl. -- Okay, this might be a little weird, but it's pure homophobia. In other words, I'm more comfortable with a woman handling my body than another dude. I don't want to play with your dick, buddy, so you don't have to play with mine. Which brings me to the next rule:
5. Don't mess with my stuff. The stuff between my legs, AND the stuff in my room. If you have to pee, fine. But NO JERKING OFF! And don't stick my fingers in my butt.

Touching these stones instantly makes me inhabit the body of another person billions of light years away? Maybe we should put on some sort of warning label, or at least put them in some kind of holder, like an oven mitt?

6. Don't start undoing the stuff I'm doing. -- In the off chance that we're both in the military, and in a command position, AND we're BOTH THE SAME RANK, please don't go around ordering people to stop obeying my orders, and start dishing out your own orders. I mean, that's just like the whole "I'm going to risk my life because it's not my body that's going to die!" -- you have nothing at stake, cowboy, so hold your horses.
7. Have an escort ready -- you know, someone to fill me in on the situation, especially if you're the one initiating the mind-swap. I hate walking into a board meeting with a bunch of generals and politicos demanding a bunch of answers I'm not prepared to give.
8. Keep the same sleep schedule as me. There aren't any time-zones in the universe, but you can keep your watch wound, at least.